Reporter: rob6264
Scientist(s): rob6264, rhoads
Date: 11/3/02

Experiment Conducted:

After another drudging and fool hearty day of lighting firecrackers and shoving them up frog's asses, rhoads suggested that we try the same thing on something bigger. Knowing it wouldn't work without something bigger, I suggested we use a tripmine. So, it was decided that we attempt to blow up an Onos by shoving a mine down its throat. I secured the mine while rhoads procured an Onos.

When I explained the experiment to the TSA soldier assigned to us, he looked at me with a grin. I could tell he understood our intellect was far superior, and that his grin was a mere gesture of good faith. Being the head of the operation, I allowed rhoads to perform the experiment. Rhoads secured the mine in his right hand and approached the Onos, who promptly ate him. Luckily, I'd remembered to rig the device with a remote detonator. The mine has more explosive power than the R and D teams first suspected. The Onos, did, in fact, die, and I'll recover from my shrapnel wounds within the week. This data should prove invaluable to the troops on the front lines.

1 - rhoads [11/2/02]: For the record, I'm extremely tired of this jack-off dragging me into experiments and then getting the report wrong. Let me set the record straight: he was fiddling with the mine and it went off prematurely. That is all.