Reporter: Skana'Dkearal,shbandk'a, (He Who Bites Many Things Very Hard) Aka, BlackWolf
Scientist(s): BlackWolf, Kestrel
Date: 11/17/02

Experiment Conducted:

My fellows and I were having a simple conversation about the merits of the sweet, grey Cream Filling found inside the head of a human, when a Fade colleague proposed that we test the exact amount of pressure to be applied to crack the covering, without causing the filling to squirt wastefully around the room. We came to the decision that, due to a Lerk's lack of jaw strength, their jaws being propelled by their neck muscles, more than by any jaw muscles, a Skulk, namely myself, would have to be the tester. This roused much debate over how much cream filling each should get. We then proceeded to the nearest duct leading to the enemy base, and I entered.

It would be difficult to secure a willing specimen-the humans had a funny habit of running around screaming when they see a Skulk, so it would be near impossible to make one stand still long enough to gauge properly exactly how much pressure one needs to crack the hard casing.

It seems, thank the Hive, that my job would be much simpler--namely, my specimen threw himself into the duct in front of me, and knocked himself out. It was too good an opportunity to pass up, so I clamped on and began to test.

However, I had only reached 100 PSI before his comrades retreived him. Knowing I must complete the experiment, as we all enjoyed the cream filling immensely, and hated the waste, I held on, trying to keep up an accurate increase in pressure. Unfortunately, when I had reached 150PSI, I lost conciousness as the humans bludgeoned me with their weapons.

Upon reaching conciousness, I have discovered that I am being held in a flimsy container, and a human keeps coming up to me, speaking to me as to a child, and calls me something like "Skulky." I have decided to further study the humans, and observe whether or not more of their species displays such blatant stupidity. I just hope they'll give me more of that cream filling.